Learning how to forgive

A journey to forgiveness is a very challenging process for anyone who has been hurt in some way. 

Moving forward from past hurt is not as straightforward as it seems as it exposes unspoken pain and one’s true feelings on a matter you may not be ready to address or move pass from easily due to the circumstances of it.

I for one am in this boat learning how to truly move past people that have hurt me in life and it is not as easy as one may think.

Whenever  I think I may have forgiven a person and then they end up doing something that triggers a reminder of why I was initially was hurt, it becomes another cycle all over again.

One thing for sure is through my journey of understanding what true forgiveness is, I’ve come to realise that it takes constant effort to decide to forgive people. 

Forgiveness is a rewarding process and can bring about feelings of peace, freedom, and healing, and it can improve your relationships with others. 

As a Christian forgiveness is a key aspect of our relationship with Yeshua and as I mature I want to be stress free and have decided to let things go for the sake of my mental wellbeing.

It does not mean that I won’t hold individuals accountable but in order to truly move past a situation, you have to address the cause so that you can truly move on.

It can be difficult especially in situations where the individuals that may have hurt you are in your life and are not going anywhere for you to easily forget. 

However, Forgiveness is a matter of choice, being intentional about how you want to move forward.

Here are some steps you can take to learn how to forgive that I also will also be working on :

• Acknowledge your emotions: Before you can begin to forgive someone, it's important to acknowledge the emotions you're feeling about the situation. You may feel hurt, angry, or betrayed. But It's important to recognize and accept these feelings, and also recognize that they don't have to control you.

• Understand the situation: Try to gain a deeper understanding of what happened and why it happened. This can help you put the situation into perspective and allow you to see things from the other person's point of view.

• Let go of grudges: Holding onto a grudge can only perpetuate negative feelings and prevent you from moving forward. Letting go of a grudge doesn't mean that you're condoning the behavior or that you have to forget what happened. It simply means that you're choosing to move on and not let the situation continue to hold power over you.

• Practice empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand their perspective. This can help you feel more compassion for them and make it easier to forgive.

• Communicate: If you feel comfortable, try to communicate with the person who hurt you. This can help you gain closure and allow you to move on.

• Take time: Forgiveness is a process, and it's important to give yourself time to work through your emotions and thoughts. Be patient with yourself and don't rush the process.

Remember, forgiveness is ultimately about freeing yourself from negative feelings and moving forward with your life. It's not about excusing someone's behavior or letting them off the hook. 

By learning how to forgive, you can take control of your own emotions and live a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Have you found it hard to forgive or do you forgive easily, let me know in the comments ?

Sewa Adebayo