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Single and waiting to be found

Updated: Feb 12, 2023

It can be very frustrating trying to find someone and at times causing one to feel sad and a bit lonely, especially as you cant always avoid people on social media showing off their “couple goals“.

There are so many perceptions to finding someone so don’t get caught up in the noise and do what’s best for you at your own pace.

Here are 9 tips on what to consider and how to be found (in no particular order) :

  • Love isn’t always enough and is neither perfect. It’s about putting in effort and commitment into what’s important to you

  • It really helps to have or find someone with a good character. This will go along way when communicating with each other

  • Don’t settle for anyone because you’re feeling lonely, in most cases you’ll end up regretting your decision

  • Most importantly work on “YOURSELF” don’t bring any past trauma/issues into your new relationship, so that it does not turn what could be an amazing experience into a toxic/negative one

  • Understand your wants/needs. Find out what you like, your interest, what your willing to give and any dealbreakers

  • Don’t be a couch potato, go out to a mixture of social events, also think about the type of person you want to meet and go to events that match that. (If you can)

  • Date, don’t just settle for the first person who has your attention as that person may not be compatible or right for you, try casual/open dating but be honest about it

  • It’s ok to make mistakes along the way but also learn from it (no situation is perfect)

  • Enjoy your singleness and rediscover “YOU” and your self worth. If you don’t know yourself how would anyone else.

These are just a few things to get you thinking as I understand the challenges many singles are facing on this subject based on conversations I have had with many of my girlfriends.

There was a time when a vast majority of people wanted to settle down or be in committed relationships.Today we find a lot of people seem to be enjoying singleness without the commitment of being with anyone at all. Research has identified that a selection of people are content with being single as long as they have kids causing the desire of being in relationship no longer there as they are not accountable to anyone and can be with who and however many people they like, Some say social media has played a major factor as there are so many distractions and options out there. Where as some just want to be with one person and will be content. The percentage of those wanting to stay single is rising making those that desire relationships having a smaller pool to seek from.

For those not interested in relationships, enjoy your singleness but remember just be honest about your intentions. You’ll be surprised at the number of people on the same level as you wanting the same exact things.

Are you single and trying to be out this summer or loving causal dating and don’t want commitment or are you totally alone out here?

I’d love to hear from you.

By Sewa Adebayo


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