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Trying to get pregnant

Updated: May 7, 2022

This is one area in life that you may not necessarily have full control over, especially if you consider yourself an organised planner, this is definitely one area I must say isn't always as straight forward as it seems.

I was naive when planning for a baby, I simply thought once you had sex that was it, then the shocker after trying for almost a year and a few failed pregnancy tests, I soon realised surely theres more to this.

For some women it's like riding a bike, some may get it first hand or by surprise, whilst others may experience a lot of difficulty or delays before eventually being able to get pregnant.

After doing some research, I quickly realised theres a pretty short fertile window in getting pregnant but before getting to this stage its important to understand your period cycle such as is it regular or irregular or non existent.

Once you are able to establish the regularity of your periods you can then look towards understanding ovulation.

I would suggest in the first instance to download a cycle tracking app, this can guide you on your potential fertility window which is when you would likely ovulate.

I say potential as it may not always be 100% accurate due to our bodies naturally playing its own course, so due to this, its important to have regular sex in order not to miss your window of opportunity as ovulation is literally a 24 hour period each month so having regular sex during your fertile window is essential so that it is not missed. According to medical experts in most cases your best chance is 2 days leading up to ovulation and on ovulation day.

If you happen to have irregular cycles it's even harder to gauge this window. After trying for 2 years I spoke to my GP for assistance.

If your in a situation where you have tried for some time, I would suggest speaking to your health provider or GP to discuss some options best suited for you.

You may find out that theres absolutely nothing wrong with you and you may just need to understand your body.

It may also be that there are things hindering your ability to conceive and understanding what these limitations are is very important, so ensure you ask all the right questions when speaking to your health advisor and do some medical tests to see where the problem lies.

Below is a list of some common areas that can cause infertility:

  • Lack of ovulation

  • Poor quality semen

  • Fallopian tube issues

  • Endometriosis

  • Polycystic ovaries

  • Sexually transmitted infections

  • Low sperm count

  • Stress and environmental factors

There can also be many other factors that cause fertility issues that could affect both parties.

One thing for sure is, I advise both you and you partner to start taking prenatal vitamins and eat healthy for healthy sperms and eggs, your body will thank you later when pregnancy arrives.

When my husband I were trying for a baby it was quite challenging and a bit of a struggle to get him initially on board with the whole process as he did not quite understand and was reluctant to the idea of being told what to do by the doctors let alone having to attend appointments.

He really does not like hospitals and secondly did not appreciate being told how often to have sex as it started to feel more like a chore and a bit mechanical which I understand as it can easily take away some of the natural and spontaneous romance.

However eventually after conversations and learning more about some of the factors around the causes of delay he was able to come around and grateful that we were able to stand by each other towards the end.

Communication is extremely key in this situation, having the right type of support is essential for your mental health and wellbeing, from both your partner, family and friends.

Key thing to remember is:

  1. Timing is everything

  2. Get your cycle tracking on point

  3. Have a healthy start by eating well and take your vitamins

  4. Conversations are key so talk about everything with your partner or someone you trust

  5. Ensure you have a good support system

If you would like me to share an in depth personal view of my experience, Let me know as I will gladly do that in another post, Do drop some comments and share some of your stories .

Sewa Adebayo


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